Fifty-Eight Quarters, a Two-Year Old, and Toys R Us

Recently, I wrote a post about how my son has been earning quarters from cleaning up his toys, how he takes his first earnings to his Sunday School class every week, and how he puts the rest in a savings jar.  You can read about it in The Giving Envelope and the Savings Jar post.

The question I've been waiting for finally came..."Mommy, can I buy a toy at the store?"  So, I decided to take him to this store:

I know.  I'm crazy.  But, it actually went very well.  Before we went, we counted his quarters in his savings jar.  Fifty-eight!  That's $14.50!  When I asked him if he wanted to buy a special toy with his commissions, he responded by saying, "Hahahaha!  THANK you!"  So, my husband, son, and I all set out for Toys R Us.

When we got there, there was only one question to ask:  Where is the Toy Story section?  My son's obsessed.  He was Sheriff Woody for Halloween, and he still wears his Sheriff Woody hat, holster, and boots around the house.  He constantly plays with his Buzz Lightyear action figure, Pizza Planet Lego truck, and Mr. and Mrs. Potato Heads.  And the Toy Story movies are his absolute favorites, which get played for many Family Movie Nights in our house.  He told me that he wanted a Jesse and a Sheriff Woody riding Bullseye, but they were sold out of the smaller versions that he wanted.  We went out of our way to go to THE toy store of all toy stores, and they were sold out?  They had bigger versions, but they were ridiculously too big.  Try breaking that news to a two-year old.  Just as I was preparing myself to comfort a very disappointed little boy whose cute little bottom lip started to quiver with tears quietly welling up in his eyes, he saw this and got really excited:

It was a garbage truck, like in Toy Story 3, that came with a small Pizza Planet alien and a tiny Sheriff Woody that can drive the truck.  Suddenly, all was well with the world again, he wiped his own little tears away, and beamed from ear to ear.  It wasn't five seconds before we heard him say, "Can I have that?"

When we went to the check-out line, I was sure that the cashier was going to hate us since we were paying with quarters.  But she was very patient and sweet with him.  When we walked out of the store, my son carried the bag with the toy that he bought.  He couldn't have been more happy or more proud!  Neither could his mommy or daddy!

The Giving Envelope and the Savings Jar

As the name of this blog suggests, I've been on a journey to become more like the Proverbs 31 woman.  She was wise with her family's finances.

"She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard."--Proverbs 31:16 (NIV)

"She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night."--Proverbs 31:18 (NIV)

"She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy."--Proverbs 31:20 (NIV)

"She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes."--Proverbs 31:24 (NIV)

Learning to manage our family's finances wisely like the woman of noble character in Proverbs 31 is just one aspect that I have been working on lately.  As I blogged about in an earlier post called He Says, "Money". She Hears, "Glsnmickloqgtaypvx", I am trying to learn more about managing finances wisely through a course called Financial Peace University.

In Financial Peace University my husband and I have been learning that it is important to teach our son about spending money wisely while staying within a budget, the importance of saving money, and above all else, the value of giving money away.  John Wesley, the founder of Methodism, was wise when he said to earn all you can, save all you can, and give all you can.  We don't want our son to make the same mistakes we have made.  Not only that, but we want him to learn at an early age that money is tied to working, and work ethic is important.  We want him to learn how to exercise self-discipline and save.  And most importantly, we want to teach him about the sacrifice of giving his first earnings to God and the church with a grateful and happy heart.

Dave Ramsey, the founder of Financial Peace University, suggests that parents pick a few chores that could be considered "work" for their children starting at around age three--work that could have a monetary value assigned to it.  He suggests not calling it an "allowance".  Rather, he suggests calling it a "commission".  Someone who works on commission doesn't get paid if he or she doesn't do the work.  If our son doesn't do his work, then he does not earn his money.  It's as simple as that.  So, we've taken this idea and tweaked it a bit to fit our 2 1/2 year old and our little family.

There are some chores that our son is expected to do simply because he is a member of the family.  Such chores include feeding our dog Sadie daily, putting his dirty clothes in his hamper at the end of the day, putting his shoes away in his shoe drawer daily, loading his clothes into the washing machine and transferring his clothes from the washer to the dryer when we do his laundry together, helping prepare his meals (taking things out of the pantry or refrigerator and putting them on the counter for preparation, stirring things), throwing away trash, putting recyclables into the recycling bin, and putting his books away in his book baskets in his bedroom after story time at night.  We'll add more age-appropriate chores as he gets older.  We picked one specific chore that would become his "work" in which he could earn commissions.  We picked the one that he has the hardest time with:  clean up time.  Our son is all boy.  He loves his toys, and he plays hard.  By the end of the day, he's had adventures with them all over the house, and boy, does it ever look that way!

So, here's what we do on a normal day.  When we have company over, we haven't figured out how to work it yet since he gets so distracted, there are a lot more toys out and about, and he seems disinterested.  But on a normal day when it's just us, this is how it works.  He gets one quarter when he completes clean-up time.  We clean up twice a day:  before nap time in the afternoon and before bedtime at night.  So, he has the potential to earn 50 cents in a day.  He spends the night with his grandmother once a week and spends the next day with her until dinner time, so he does not get a chance to earn commissions on that night and during the afternoon of the next day.  So, in one week it is possible for him to earn a total of $3.00. 

How We Do It:
1.  He must clean up on his own.  He is the one doing the work--not Mommy and Daddy (on a normal day).
2.  We direct him.  He's a little too young to stay focused and on task by himself, and he sometimes gets overwhelmed by all the things on the floor that he has to clean up.  So my husband or I will tell him what to pick up.  For example, we'll tell him we see toy trains on the ground and that he needs to find all the toy trains and put them away before we clean up anything else.
3.  He needs to stay on task.  If he decides he wants to start playing with the things he is picking up, then we remind him that the consequence of that choice will be that he will not earn the quarter.  We show him the quarter so that he can see what he's working towards.  He knows that if he does not clean up, then Mommy or Daddy get to have that quarter instead of him.  He does not like it when we say this.  "No, that's my quarter!"
4.  As soon as he is done, we praise him, and give him the quarter immediately for him to put away.  He feels so proud.  Sometimes if he has made a big mess playing, he'll sigh deeply when he's done, like he's saying, "Whew.  That was hard work."

Where does his money go?

The first two clean-up times of the week (both on Sunday, assuming that he completes his work), the quarters go in the Giving Envelope.  Not only is this roughly about 15% of his earnings for the week, but it is also his very first earnings of the week--his first fruits.  This is just a small manila office envelope in which I wrote "Give" on the front as well as a few scriptures.

"Honor God with everything you own.  Give him the first and the best."--Proverbs 3:9-10 (from The Message Bible)

"God loves it when the giver delights in the giving."--2 Corinthians 9:7b (from The Message Bible)

I drew a picture of a church on the back, and I wrote a scripture on it as well:

"Bring the finest of the first fruits of your produce to the house of your God."--Exodus 34:26 (from The Message Bible)

On Sunday mornings when we go to church, he takes his little Giving Envelope to his Sunday School class with him, and he puts his two quarters that he has worked hard for in the offering basket.  It teaches him nothing about giving and sacrifice if we give him the money for the offering.  By putting in his own money that he has worked very hard for, he is learning about faithfulness, sacrifice, integrity, and that giving is important and should be a priority before saving or spending.  His giving now has meaning to it.  God first.

After his first two times cleaning up in a week, the rest of his commissions get to go into the Savings Jar.  We have a piggy bank for him in his room, but Dave Ramsey suggests that you use something clear so that children can see how their earnings are growing.  I found an empty clear plastic canister with a plastic lid that was sitting in our laundry room unused.  I decorated it with the word "Save" on the front and drew pictures of toys, a scripture, and a picture of a little boy watering a plant that has dollar bills for branches.  I modge-podged the drawings onto the container and lid.  The scripture is "Is there anyone here who, planning to build a new house, doesn't first sit down and figure out the cost so you'll know if you can complete it?"--Luke 14:28 (from The Message Bible)

Now this is not a savings jar for a car one day or his clothes or anything like that.  We'll start that when he is in his teen years.  This is just a savings jar for a special little toy that he sees at the store that he really wants.  We'll find out how much it is and work towards saving that amount of money in his jar so that he can use his money to buy it.  This is not to say that we won't buy him toys also.  This is just a great starting point in teaching him that we have to work hard and plan for things we would like to have.  It's more about the teachable moment than anything else at this point.

It is working out so far.  We've been doing it for several weeks now.  Today we counted his quarters, and he has 36.  Most days when we tell him that it is clean-up time, he gets excited and says, "It's time to earn commissions!"  He likes seeing how there are more and more quarters adding up in his jar.  The first Sunday to take his Giving Envelope to church, he was actually the one that remembered it.  He told my husband that he needed to get his commissions to take to the church.  I love that he has a joyful and grateful heart when giving.

There have been a few bumps in the road.  One evening he thought it would be fun to dump tons and tons of toys in his play tent--every single little car he owns, all the mega blocks, all the Jenga blocks, all the trio blocks, all the Mr. and Mrs. Potato Head parts, every ball in the house, puzzle pieces...I'll just stop there.  You get the picture.  There were lots of tiny little toys everywhere in one big heap.  He did not like cleaning that up one bit.  But, I tried to turn that into a teachable moment:  the bigger mess you make, the harder it is to clean up, and if you don't clean up as you go, then you'll have to spend a lot of time cleaning up later.  Hopefully, he learned his lesson.  It was painful and tiring for both him and me.  I got so frustrated that I almost just told him to stop, but I didn't.  The end result was that he earned his quarter for his Giving Envelope and hopefully (Puh-leeeeeaaaase, God) learned not to make that big of a mess again.

He says, "Money". She hears, "Glsnmicklboqgtaypvx"

Financial Peace University.  (Deeee-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-eeeep breath).  Okay, I'm going to be honest.  You're looking at the biggest sceptic when it comes to Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University.  Until now.  For those of you who are unfamiliar with Financial Peace University (FPU), it is a program taught by Dave Ramsey.  Who in the world is that?  He's the successful talk radio host of the nationally syndicated talk radio show, The Dave Ramsey Show, a New York Times best selling author, and a personal finance expert.  And better yet, he practices what he preaches.  With a degree in finance, and a family background in real estate, he started out of college with nothing. By the time he was 26 years old, he had become a millionaire and built a four million dollar real estate business.  Then he lost it all, filing bankruptcy, by the time he was thirty.  He has learned from his mistakes and has since built his wealth back up again, following the practices that he preaches.  He teaches not only his children, but millions of people how to manage their finances well.  He focuses on beating debt, saving, building wealth, and giving like you've never been able to give before, all the while building character and integrity.  FPU is a 13 week video and discussion based class designed by Dave Ramsey that is offered at many churches of all different denominations all over the country, workplaces,  military installations, non-profit organizations, and community centers.  The program teaches you how to achieve financial peace in your life with integrity and intensity by following seven baby steps:
1.)  $1000 in the bank for a starter emergency fund
2.)  Pay off all your debt, excluding the house (credit cards, student loans, car payments, and other loans) using the Debt Snowball
3.)  Build three to six months of savings in the bank set aside for emergencies only
4.)  Invest 15% of your household income into Roth IRAs and pre-tax retirement
5.)  College funds for your kids
6.)  Pay off the mortgage to your home early
7.)  Build wealth and start giving like you never even dreamed you could

It is Christian focused, and it always stresses setting aside your money to give or tithe before you work the rest of your budget for the month.   My husband and I started the 90 day class a few weeks ago.  In the four sessions that we have been on board, I have experienced all sorts of emotions:  excitement, fear, anxiety, happiness, understanding, freak-outs, sadness, hope, glimpses of peace, and excitement again.  Let me back up a bit...

I hate numbers.  I hate dealing with math.  I hate thinking analytically.  So, naturally, I hate budgets, the process of setting a budget, and talking about savings, 401Ks, mutual funds, and IRAs.  I'm what Dave Ramsey calls the "free spirit" when it comes to money.  In certain areas of my life I like to be organized and detail-oriented, but when it comes to money, ha!  I just kind of spend by how I feel and hope that it all magically turns out for the best.  Terrible, I know.

Now, let me introduce you to my husband, who is what Dave Ramsey calls the "nerd".  He has not one masters degree, but two.  One is in computer engineering, and the other is an MBA.  He loved his financial classes, and for him thinking about money is (gulp) fun.  For all you free spirits out there, yes, I'm serious.  I did say fun.  He's a computer software engineer who has just recently moved into software architecture, so he naturally loves numbers, math, and thinking analytically...everything that almost makes me break out into hives just thinking about.  When we took the Myers Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) personality inventory in pre-marital counselling getting ready for marriage, we were exact opposites in everything.  I am an INFJ, and my husband is an ESTP.

Me:  Introverted
My husband:  Extroverted

Me:  Intuition (concerned with the underlying meaning of things)
My husband:  Sensing (concerned with what is real, present, and the facts)

Me:  Feeling (concerned about other people's values and emotions when I make decisions, make decisions with my heart, prefer everyone to feel at peace, etc.) 
My husband:  Thinking (looks at a problem logically and finds the underlying principle to be applied, thinks with his head, looks at things analytically)

Me:  Judging (concerned with being planned and organized, like decisions to be made, feels better using lists for tasks)--except for when it comes to money, hence the free spirit!
My husband:  Perceiving (spontaneous, open, flexible, laid back)--except for when it comes to money, hence the nerd!

Opposites attract, right?  So, as you can see, we obviously would approach the subject of finances very differently.  Men and women are also different when it comes to thinking about finances, too.  So throw that into the mix, and well, you can see why we chose to go to FPU.  My husband looooooooooooves making spread sheets about our finances that include just about every possible scenario in our lives that could happen financially.  I on the other hand, hate Excel, and still can't quite understand how to use it even though I have sort of learned it many times.  My husband recently even wrote his own computer program from scratch to determine a bunch of different ways we could pay off our debt with time lines for each of them.  The programs available on the FPU website were not up to snuff for him, so he created his own.  The budget spreadsheets and net worth/assets pages he prints off for me are so complicated that I just start to cry when we sit down to talk about money.  "Money"....I cry.  I don't know why.  It's like a gag reflex or something.  My crying is like my reaction to mayo or Miracle Whip; it simply just makes me sick.  So, as you can guess, when we sit down and try to talk about money or budgets, I get extremely confused and overwhelmed (but don't misunderstand:  I am very appreciative and proud of my husband for being able to think about money so well and to do all these things analytically for our family.  I would be a total mess without my nerd.)  When I become overwhelmed, it stresses out my husband, he gets frustrated, and in turn he feels like it's his fault that I'm crying, which it's not.  It's like we're speaking different languages.  He says "money", and I hear "Glsnmicklboqgtaypvs." I just let him, and WANT him to deal with the finances since he's good at it, and I am not.  The problem is that I feel out of the loop and very dependent when I do this.  If something were to happen to him, God forbid, I would be lost.  The second session of FPU was called "Nerds and Free Spirits Unite", and I'm thankful to say that this free spirit and nerd have united indeed!  In just a few short weeks, we have learned a valuable and priceless life lesson:  how to communicate with each other about setting the budget, sticking to it, and paying off our debt.  (Deeeeeee-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-eeeeeeeep breath in a good way.)

FPU is big on using cash for everything, which we're so not there yet.  We're on our way.  For now we are using a virtual envelope system and sinking funds in our financial planning.  The goal:  beat down our debt, save for our family's future, and save for expenses.  Sounds easy enough, but we've just never been able to talk about these things without frustration.  We have detailed spreadsheets for the last seven years about where exactly we have spent our money.  We've just never made a budget before spending the money.  We were doing fine until we went from a two-income family to one-income family.  That's when it all changed, and living without a set budget each month finally caught up to us.  Being a stay-at-home mom is undoubtedly the path that our family is supposed to be on, but adjusting financially has been difficult.  I think just knowing that we had to think and plan more about money made me dread talking about it, but now we talk all the time.  I feel like I have learned so much, and I can feel myself being much more open than I used to be.  Approaching our finances from a united, godly perspective has been life-changing.  We are learning to live with some discipline and self-control.  As Dave would say, we're living like no one else, so that we can LIVE like no one else later.  We're being disciplined so that eventually we can have the things that we want and pay for them up front without accruing more debt.  Thank God for Dave Ramsey!